Online Dating

You never know until you've been there.....

Ok, so how do you find prospective dates at my age (over 30), with two kids and working full time? I don't go to clubs or bars and I seriously am not stepping foot into the "LDS Singles Dances" (tried that and never doing it again). I go to work, take care of my kids every day and try to stay sane. I don't have friends or relatives that know the "perfect" person for me, setting me up on blind dates (not sure what that says about me....if anything. Perhaps my friends and family don't want to set me up with anyone they know!).

Online dating. It's the "new" thing, although I think it's the "only" thing really out there now-a-days for "people like me". Holy crap....it's tough! I've found it's really frustrating to date this way. You have a couple of options while dating online....

Oh, before I get into the process of finding a date, I have to mention the extremely LONG line of questions for your profile that you have to answer, trying to come up with witty headliners, explain what your looking for (in a few sentences), explaining what you're all about (in a few sentences) and making sure to pick the right photos (praying that the guy's pictures you're looking at are current).

One: You "wink" or "wink" back at someone and wait for their response (if any). Then one of you initiate the first email, emailing back and forth for awhile (several emails later) and then finally decide it may be worth it to give out your number. All the while you're trying to be safe, not give out any personal information but trying to get to know "what kind of person they are" (assuming the truth is being told to you). Finally, if the phone calls (and texts...which I hate doing...it takes me forever...) pan out okay you both decide to meet in person. My trouble here is I hate the thought of looking "desperate" so I always wait until they make the first move and ask ME out. So now, you've invested at least enough that you may be anxious and excited to meet them, see if they really look like their pictures and see if they live up to what you've built in your mind for them to be like. So you meet, they look nothing like their picture or perhaps they think the same of you or you're just not attracted in person......and all that time emailing, calling and texting was worthless. Ughhhh...... ***note: This process is much longer if dating EHarmony style. You have 5 questions you send...then they send 5 questions then you send your "must haves" and "don't wants" and then they send you theirs then you send your personal three questions, then they send you theirs then you can finally email in which it takes a bit more time doing that. Eventually numbers are exchanged and possibly a date lined up.

Two: You "wink" or "wink" back at someone and wait for their response (if any). Then either of you emails and asks or gives out their phone number. They call and ask me out (cause, again, I can't look desperate and do the asking out) cutting out all the emailing, calling and texting and we meet. Same now as above, they or you may look nothing like the pictures (or are just not attracted in person) but at least you didn't waste too much time on the emailing, calling and texting.

Third: You do all of the above (preferably cutting out all the emailing, calling and texting) end up liking who you meet only to not get a call for another date. Or.....you do all of the above and don't really like the guy but he keeps calling and then I feel like a schmuck for not liking the guy.

Another thing to mention, at my age we all have baggage! I've got ALOT of it! I've decided I should just write a book about my life, slide it over on the table during dinner and tell him to read it and let you know if he wants to go out again. If I did that though...I know I would never go on a second date again!

I tell you, dating....online dating, sucks!

It pretty much sucks the life out of you (whatever life you have after working all day, taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage and of course exercising every day (because what single person doesn't workout every day!))!!! I mean to spend this much time, try to do everything else plus find time to actually go out on the date.....it's so exhausting.

This is just the beginning!