Thoughts:

A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the fake smile.
~author unknown

-----------------------------------------------------

"If you're going to be two faced, atleast make one of them pretty."
~Marilyn Monroe

All Worth It Moments:

I was upset with a good friend that had failed to call me (in a LONG time) to tell me she had been laid off. Now, I wasn't mad...just sad that she hadn't called to tell me. I was talking to my parents telling them the situation of my friend being laid off.

Mckelsie said; "Mom, you should'nt be mad!"

I said; "Mckelsie....I just want to be mad for awhile. I won't be mad forever."

Mckelsie: "Well Mom, you can be mad all you want but it's not going to solve anything."

That's my girl!!!! So literal!

Note: Ok, my friend that didn't call to tell me that you'd been laid off! I'm not really mad I promise!!! We can't let it go that long before we have lunch together again! Love you!!! =)

----------------------------------------------------

The other day I was talking to Mckelsie about something that was upsetting to her.

Mckelsie says; "Mom...ssshhhh....I'm listening to Lorrie."

Mom; "You mean you're thinking about what Lorrie would say to you if she were here right?"

Mckelsie; "Yes."

Mom; "That sounds a little weird honey... you should say that your thinking about what Lorrie would say if she were here instead of you're listening to her. I don't want to think that you're hearing voices!"

Mckelsie; "Ohhh...ok. Now I know."

Online Dating

You never know until you've been there.....

Ok, so how do you find prospective dates at my age (over 30), with two kids and working full time? I don't go to clubs or bars and I seriously am not stepping foot into the "LDS Singles Dances" (tried that and never doing it again). I go to work, take care of my kids every day and try to stay sane. I don't have friends or relatives that know the "perfect" person for me, setting me up on blind dates (not sure what that says about me....if anything. Perhaps my friends and family don't want to set me up with anyone they know!).

Online dating. It's the "new" thing, although I think it's the "only" thing really out there now-a-days for "people like me". Holy crap....it's tough! I've found it's really frustrating to date this way. You have a couple of options while dating online....

Oh, before I get into the process of finding a date, I have to mention the extremely LONG line of questions for your profile that you have to answer, trying to come up with witty headliners, explain what your looking for (in a few sentences), explaining what you're all about (in a few sentences) and making sure to pick the right photos (praying that the guy's pictures you're looking at are current).

One: You "wink" or "wink" back at someone and wait for their response (if any). Then one of you initiate the first email, emailing back and forth for awhile (several emails later) and then finally decide it may be worth it to give out your number. All the while you're trying to be safe, not give out any personal information but trying to get to know "what kind of person they are" (assuming the truth is being told to you). Finally, if the phone calls (and texts...which I hate doing...it takes me forever...) pan out okay you both decide to meet in person. My trouble here is I hate the thought of looking "desperate" so I always wait until they make the first move and ask ME out. So now, you've invested at least enough that you may be anxious and excited to meet them, see if they really look like their pictures and see if they live up to what you've built in your mind for them to be like. So you meet, they look nothing like their picture or perhaps they think the same of you or you're just not attracted in person......and all that time emailing, calling and texting was worthless. Ughhhh...... ***note: This process is much longer if dating EHarmony style. You have 5 questions you send...then they send 5 questions then you send your "must haves" and "don't wants" and then they send you theirs then you send your personal three questions, then they send you theirs then you can finally email in which it takes a bit more time doing that. Eventually numbers are exchanged and possibly a date lined up.

Two: You "wink" or "wink" back at someone and wait for their response (if any). Then either of you emails and asks or gives out their phone number. They call and ask me out (cause, again, I can't look desperate and do the asking out) cutting out all the emailing, calling and texting and we meet. Same now as above, they or you may look nothing like the pictures (or are just not attracted in person) but at least you didn't waste too much time on the emailing, calling and texting.

Third: You do all of the above (preferably cutting out all the emailing, calling and texting) end up liking who you meet only to not get a call for another date. Or.....you do all of the above and don't really like the guy but he keeps calling and then I feel like a schmuck for not liking the guy.

Another thing to mention, at my age we all have baggage! I've got ALOT of it! I've decided I should just write a book about my life, slide it over on the table during dinner and tell him to read it and let you know if he wants to go out again. If I did that though...I know I would never go on a second date again!

I tell you, dating....online dating, sucks!

It pretty much sucks the life out of you (whatever life you have after working all day, taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage and of course exercising every day (because what single person doesn't workout every day!))!!! I mean to spend this much time, try to do everything else plus find time to actually go out on the date.....it's so exhausting.

This is just the beginning!

Eat Pray Love

I went over the weekend and saw the movie, Eat Pray Love, with my friend Karen and this is so the movie for me! There were so many great parts, words that touched my heart and soul. I'm going to have to go see it again just to remember a couple more of them.



"You have been to hell, Ketut?" He smiled. Of course he's been there. What's it like in hell?" Same like in heaven," he said. He saw my confusion and tried to explain. "Universe is a circle, Liss." He said. "To up, to down -- all same, at end." I remembered an old Christian mystic notion: As above, so below. I asked. "Then how can you tell the difference between heaven and hell?" Because of how you go. Heaven, you go up, through seven happy places. Hell, you go down, through seven sad places. This is why it better for you to go up, Liss." He laughed. Same-same," he said. "Same in end, so better to be happy in journey." I said, "So, if heaven is love, then hell is.. " Love, too," he said. Ketut laughed again, "Always so difficult for young people to understand this!" — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)



"The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralyzed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage)



"Real, sane, mature love—the kind that pays the mortgage year after year and picks up the kids after school—is not based on infatuation but on affection and respect." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage)



"When you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face first out of the dirt-this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)



"In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Once in a lifetime.....

What I'm about to share with you now is an amazing, once in a lifetime story. You have to read this post, even if you usually don't read any of them! I'm not sure how often this really happens but for me, I would imagine that it NEVER happens. Hold on to your seat....here it is.........



So, let me begin by telling you the premise for our being here taking pictures on the train tracks. My mom and I decided to go visit my Grandma Alice with my two children, Mckelsie and Jayden. During our quick day visit, my Grandma Alice needed to rest for a little bit after our lunch trip out. My mom, the kids and I decided to go get icecream to allow quiet for my Grandma to rest. After getting the icecream we drove around the small town while my mom pointed out various places of her childhood memories. We drove by one house and now I can't even remember who my Mom said it had belonged to at one time. The house was tattered, worn and pretty much dumpy. At the end of the road just past the house was the railroad tracks. We decided to drive down so that I could take some pictures of the kids on the tracks as I've always wanted to do that. We pulled over and Jayden and I got out of the car. Mckelsie didn't want to take any pictures (no surprise there....). Jayden and I walked over to the tracks where I proceeded to take some pictures of Jayden on and near the tracks.

While snapping a few pictures we realized that there was an approaching train. We could hear the whistle and see the distant light on the front of the train. I told Jayden we would stay so we could watch the train sail by. We backed just far enough way that I knew we'd be safe and wouldn't freak the driver out.

I took a few photos of Jayden as the train approached.

As the train came upon us, it seemed to be going quite slow. The driver's hand waved out from the small window on the engine. We both waved back in wonder and excitement as neither of us had ever been so close to a moving train. Jayden and I wondered if it was going to stop because it was going to slow. We stood and I remember watching the huge wheels going slower and slower. IT STOPPED!!!!! Right in front of us! No lie! I was shocked! Again we saw the driver's hand out of the small window wave us over to the front of the train just feet from where we stood. I told Jayden to run and I followed. The driver INVITED Jayden up onto the train. Yes, INVITED him up! I couldn't believe it!

(This is where I wished I would've gotten more pictures....)

Mckelsie ran over from the car to join me at the side of the train. The driver yelled from the little window beckoning Mckelsie and I to climb the huge steps on the front of the train up to the cab to join Jayden. It was so cool! They stopped just for us, let us up in the train, showed us all the gagets, computer systems and told us a bit about the train. It was carrying 117 cars behind it! There were two guys and they both were so kind!

I didn't want to overstay our welcome and so probably rushed out sooner than they would've shooed us away. We thanked them many times over! I got a picture of Mckelsie and Jayden going out of the door on the front of the train. I'm sure all of us had the biggest smiles while getting off and walking away from the train. We waved and stood still in awe of what just happened.

Side note: If I had been able to think more clearly, I would've asked one of the guys on the train for his number or tried to ask him more questions. He was a young guy and was so cute! Dang, that would've been a great story to tell people how we met!

Delta, Utah - Visit to Grandma Alice's

I couldn't resist taking a picture of this beautiful sunset.

I wished I had a nice camera!

We should've left this doggy home!

Jayden in front of Grandma Alice's house. It was actually a very pleasant

summer day in Delta. Windy as usual but enjoyed a bit of a rain storm.

As my Grandma Alice would say, "Three generations..."

My mom Sharlene, my Grandma Alice and me.

Jayden, Grandma Alice, Rebecca & Mckelsie

(Maggie, Grandma's dog in the front)

Whose feet are bigger?

Grandma Alice & Jayden

You see alot of the next few pictures here in Delta. I don't particularly think it's a very pretty place. Apparently this particular shack was, years ago, the home of a good family friend "Emery" as Grandma Alice and my Mom call him. The Spor's took him in and invited him into their home and family.

Delta Utah Cemetary:

Jacob is my cousin, son of my Uncle Kim and Aunt Ginny. He was just three years older than me. I've heard many stories of the little guy. I stood looking at his headstone and all the other's around in awe. How much loss we deal with in this life with no guarantee of what is to follow this life. It's all upon faith that you believe in living beyond this earthly experience. When someone dies, especially your child, how it must ache. Jacob was an adorable boy.

My Uncle Kim

My Great Grandparents on my Mom's side. I hadn't noticed before but they died within a few months of each other. Apparently my great grandfather said that since he and his wife were married they had never been apart at Christmas time and he wasn't about to let that happen after all those years

(according to my Mom).

Boondocks 2010 - Wells Fargo Summer Party

I think every year as my kids are getting older I miss the "little" stage of innocence, curiosity and genuine surprise except on days like this. We went to Boondocks for my work summer party. It is so much fun to see my kids be able to be independent, run around playing laser tag with them(I was SO dead by the end of that game), racing on the go cart track and throwing down a game of ski ball. My kids really are so much fun to be with on days like these!

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet

My brother John recommended this book, actually he gave it to my Mom for a gift. I began reading (listened - audio book) and it actually seemed a bit hard to get into at first. Once in, the author takes you back and forth between his childhood memories of the 1940's to his adult life in the 1980's...40 years difference. A love story which meshes with my heart and mind wonderfully while shadowing real places and times in history that I find extremely intriguing. I throughly enjoyed the book and would recommend to anyone.

Jayden

Mother—that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.

~T. Dewitt Talmage

-

Before you were conceived I wanted you,

Before you were born I loved you,

Before you were here an hour I would die for you,

This is the miracle of life.
~Maureen Hawkins

-

Son, you outgrew my lap,

but never my heart.

~Author Unknown

24th of July

Allison, Kara & Mckelsie

Adam & Jayden

Allison

Kara

Teaghan

Allison, Dan & Christine

Mckelsie

Teaghan, Corbin (Jayden's friend), Jayden, Adam & Allison